EP98 The Katie Bloomfield Chapter: Blended, Badass, and Rewriting the Rules

What if the real challenge wasn’t starting again after divorce, but becoming someone you actually recognise?

In this raw episode, I’m joined by powerhouse business coach, life coach, property Queen and mama of six Katie Bloomfield…. and we’re talking all things blended families, identity reclamation, and what it really takes to rebuild a life that feels like yours.

Katie’s lived a few lifetimes… young mum at 19, divorced, reinvented, remarried, running businesses, raising six kids (yep, six), and turning the BS phrase “broken family” into breakthrough family.

Together, we get into:

💥 Why blended families need new language, not outdated labels
🧠 The difference between commitment and obligation (and why that matters in love and parenting)
🔥 Identity after divorce…. and why who you were isn't who you have to be
💬 “Real” mums (v imaginary?!), “half” siblings, and how to break generational stories around worth and belonging
🧃 The emotional labour no one talks about when you're the woman holding it all
✨ And why you don’t have to perform ‘strength’ to be a f*cking queen

This isn’t just a story of remarriage. It’s a story of radical self-awareness, emotional responsibility, and choosing love…. not just in romance, but in how you parent, how you speak to yourself, and how you build your next chapter.

🗝️ Your takeaway?
 You don’t have to be who you were told to be.
 You get to choose again, especially when it’s hard.

→ Tune in now
→ Share with the woman who's been told she's “too much” to blend
→ And if you're ready to write a new kind of family narrative… you’re in the right place.

Katie has also shared the link with us for her and Danny’s brilliant WEALTHY LIFE PLAYBOOK

You can also find the Bloomfields on Instagram HERE

Plus Katie on Facebook HERE

Let us know what you think of the episode 💖

With love,

Sarah x

🩷

Transcript

SPEAKERS

Katie Bloomfield, Sarah Elizabeth

Sarah Elizabeth  00:00

Hello and welcome to the divorce chapter, the podcast where we turn the plot twist of divorce into a seriously happy ever after. I'm your host, Sarah Elizabeth, and today's episode is for every woman navigating the complexities of blended families and rediscovering herself in the process. Today, I'm joined by the brilliant Katie Bloomfield, a powerhouse business coach, life coach, property developer, and co founder of Bloomfield, which is a property development company, which she was going to go on to talk about, alongside her husband, Danny, they built a thriving property portfolio and a personal development brand, all whilst raising a blended family of six children, and that's not even starting on Danny and Katie hosting their own radio show. Katie's journey is testament to the fact that life after divorce can not just be about survival, but about building something fucking amazing in love, family and business. Welcome.

Katie Bloomfield  00:59

What an introduction. Sarah, thank you. Honestly, it's so it's quite humbling reading like, you know when someone else is reading it about you, and you're like, yeah, they're actually speaking about me. Yes,

Sarah Elizabeth  01:11

it's nice, isn't it? Yeah, you've done so much. You do so much. Katie, so tell us about it. Tell us all these things that you and Danny do together. You

Katie Bloomfield  01:19

know what? It's crazy, really, how much your life can absolutely like it. Can just change direction, can't it, you know, absolutely from where I was, like, I became a mum at 19, yeah, now, at almost 42 I've got a four year old who's now about to start school, you know. And, and, like, I've got this, this business, this empire, if you like, you know, of, of like, property we, we coach other people on their own businesses as well. We sold a business last year, you know. And I've got to be mindful as well about what your your podcast is, I fucking love divorce. Yes, I am. Because, you know, go back to, I don't know what year, 1940s 50s, 60s, divorce wasn't a thing exactly that that was done, was it? It wasn't I fucking love divorce. I love it. I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for where we live that we're able to have our own mind and our own and if we make a decision, we can just undo it again.

Sarah Elizabeth  02:36

Yes, yes, yes. I completely agree. I always say that women couldn't have their own bank accounts until about 1975 I think it was so women couldn't divorce like they were stuck with this also for the rest of their lives, and like they couldn't work, they couldn't have their own bank accounts, they couldn't buy their own homes. And I completely agree. I think it's the most freeing thing, particularly when you've been in an abusive marriage, to be able to change your life, it's completely amazing. Yeah,

Katie Bloomfield  03:06

absolutely. It is absolutely. And, you know, when I think about where I've come from, yeah, and, you know, I had a great childhood. I mean, I was just a bit of, a bit of a shit as a teenager, who isn't, yeah, isn't, you know? And I became a mum at 19. I had three by the time I was 24 but you know that that marriage wasn't supposed to last, and, you know, and I'm very grateful for that, that now, you know, because, I mean, I met Danny at mid, early 30s. I was when, when I met after a string of failed first dates, and I was an ice queen for a while. And I think, do you know what? Actually, it's funny, because the more divorced people that I saw, ladies that I speak to now, actually, I think we all go through that like in the twats or trying to hold on to this is what I think I want, and know that shitty phrase that we all use, like He's too nice, He's too

Sarah Elizabeth  04:17

nice. Yeah, so I go with a fuckboy instead.

Katie Bloomfield  04:21

He's not nice at all. You just don't know what it feels like to be treated nicely, you know, for anyone who's listening, if they're, you know, sort of thinking, I just can't find someone who's nice. When the nice guy comes along, you always say they're boring. Yeah,

Sarah Elizabeth  04:36

they do because you think they're safe. And you're not used to safe. You're used to the toxics, the ups and downs and the drama that safe feels boring so you're not used

Katie Bloomfield  04:46

to it, isn't it funny? Because when you start to really understand yourself and understand your your own fight and flight and things like that, you you just don't know how to deal with somebody who's. Not causing you a load of hassle.

Sarah Elizabeth  05:02

Yes, exactly that. It totally does. So you've been together quite a while now, and married and six is six kids between you, isn't it? Six

Katie Bloomfield  05:11

between this yeah. So I had three from my first marriage. Danny had two, and we got together and decided that five wasn't quite enough. 

Sarah Elizabeth  05:18

So we have nice even number even it up. 

Katie Bloomfield  05:21

We do have there's three boys and three girls. 

Sarah Elizabeth  05:23

Oh, that is really nice. That's really even 

Katie Bloomfield  05:25

Yeah, so nice. And even the oldest one is 22 Yeah, one, the youngest one is four, and then there's this four in the middle. So yeah, so 19 year old, two seventeens and and a 13 year old. So yeah, we're in the midst of driving lessons and teenage, a lot of teenagers in that. Yeah, a lot of teenagers, yeah. And then, and then a four year old as well. So

Sarah Elizabeth  05:52

wow, who's starting school soon? Yes. How do you balance all of that? How do you manage all of that with all the businesses, all the kids?

Katie Bloomfield  06:00

Do? You know? It's a great, it's a great question. And I think that the first thing, you know, I mean, people talk about work, life balance, and it's a, it's bullshit. There is no balance. You know, yes, we've got different strategies that we have where we deal with, you know, how we deal with things and how we work together. You know, the divide and conquer a lot, but equally, knowing that you need a rest sometimes, is just as much as a strategy, isn't it, organisation of things and knowing who's got to be where. I mean, we're the best logistics managers in the world, aren't we, you know, transferable skills, you know, yeah, there's, there's different strategies that we have for managing everything, but I think sometimes it is just knowing that you're not going to get everything done, and that's okay as well.

Sarah Elizabeth  06:46

Yeah, that's true, isn't it? How do you manage working together? Because you always seem so happy together, and I know you like social media, clearly, you know sometimes you're going to have a row or whatever, but you always seem really, really happy together, which is lovely. It's lovely to see you two together.

Katie Bloomfield  07:03

Social media is, is a great thing, isn't it, because it's a highlight reel. Yeah, right. Usually I don't post if I'm crying on the floor at one o'clock in the morning, you know, because the property deals fell through. Okay, yeah. But the one thing that, and I've really we were speaking just before we recorded about Danny and I coming on together. Yeah, it's time, but I would probably, I don't want to say too much about it, because I want you to see it for yourself. But yes, I mean, I are exactly how it comes across on social media. And it's funny, we were on a retreat a couple of weeks ago, a month ago, maybe we were on a retreat, and with a lot of the people that were there, we'd only ever met it on online, yeah, and so we meet in the room real life, and Danny I were both there, and they were like, you're exactly the same in real life, like, you're just gonna be like, this sort of paper couple, like, but I think, you know, we there's no, there's no ego around us, like, because we work together, we both want the company, the family us to do the best that we can do. So when you can remove the ego and Okay, doesn't matter whose idea it was, who was right, it was wrong, who put it forward, whose idea didn't quite go quite right, doesn't matter. You can say, okay, yep, I'll step back and I'll let you shine, or he'll step back and, you know, it just works well. But it's not, it's not an accident? No, I think when, when you get divorced, and we've both been divorced, you start on a different journey, don't you? Because you've, you've, no one gets married with the idea of getting divorced, right? You enter this, this agreement, and for whatever reason, it doesn't happen. Whoever's fault it is, I don't care about fault, but you then have to go on this different journey through the divorce to start with, but you really start to find out who you are. And Dan and I both found personal development in our early 30s, and that changed a lot of the course for us. Like, you know when you start figuring out who you are and why you're that way, why you behave this way if you're having a row. I mean, you know, I used to shout and throw plates and tell everyone to off and you know, I it's not further from who I am, because I know what my triggers are. I know why I feel triggered like that. I'm a qualified life coach, an NLP practitioner, you know? I know why I behaved like that. Yes, I know that was because it didn't feel safe and something spiked me and I needed to respond that way. But. But now I know that I don't need to. And, and it's funny, isn't it? How, when we get, like, when we get in those positions, you know? Now, I mean, obviously, you know, sometimes I still get a bit pissed off. And of course, maybe I will tell someone to fuck off, but yeah, Danny and I just don't, we don't, we don't speak to each other like that. 

Sarah Elizabeth  10:19

That's so good. That's so good. It

Katie Bloomfield  10:23

I think he's somebody that I didn't think existed. But equally, I think if we revert back to our previous conversation about the two nice Yes, yeah, yeah. Like we laugh because he is my boringly consistent. Haha. I like boring.

Sarah Elizabeth  10:43

That's really cute. Yeah,

Katie Bloomfield  10:45

it's, you know, it's nice when you when you can, just when you when you can live in that way. And then, yeah, the other

Sarah Elizabeth  10:53

thing is, as well, is half the time your trigger because of the bullshit you've told yourself over the years about who you are, what you are, what you think, and when you do learn that that's all bullshit, and you can completely change those sorts it's like it's game changer, isn't

Katie Bloomfield  11:11

it? Absolutely, you know that identity, who we've been born into, and who we believe we are. I think that's one of the, one of the things that kind of, once you see it, you can't unsee it, yeah, then someone uses the phrase, that's just who I am, and you think, you know, Is that who you want to be? Yeah? You know. And we often go back, you know, with clients and our kids, we do a lot with our kids, you know, who do you want to be, who do you want to be, you can decide who you want to be, and then learn differently. And that is, it is absolutely possible to do with a few techniques. And, yeah, like, life shift changes, I suppose, isn't it?

Sarah Elizabeth  11:56

Yeah, I think that's true, though, and that's definitely the bit about divorce after divorce that I like is like, it is that remembering who the fuck you are, yeah, and and going back and sort of saying who, who did I want to be, all those exciting times. And, you know, who did I want to be? Who am I? Because you get caught under these labels of wife, of mum, of your job title, of daughter, this, that and the other, yeah, and you forget who you are. And it's so important to go back and and kind of check yourself and go, who am I? Who am I? Yeah, most people don't do that. Most people think life is happening to them, and don't think about that. They've got the power to change it if they really want

Katie Bloomfield  12:42

to, even hard, yeah, even even at the when you when you're sort of opened or invited into thinking about different things like that, you know, life's not happening to you. It's happening for you. Yes, it's still maybe a bit of bravery sometimes, isn't it? And that belief and the unpicking of those limiting beliefs, oh, my God, yes, you know. And it can be a really hard journey, just a one time, a one time thing. I have this, this analogy that I like to use. We have in our house, we have this no blame culture, yes, which is something that the kids, the kids found quite hard to get on, get on board with, and I did at some point, you know, because you sometimes just want to say that, but that's your fault. That's your fault. We have this no blame culture, so, okay, right? Let's not tell me what they did. Tell me what you did about it. Tell me where your responsibility is in this. I mean, the kids rarely argued, to be fair. You know, they're teenagers. They all get on with each other, drinking together most of the time. But you know, like we have this analogy that we use to do so a baby on a doorstep. Okay? So imagine you open your door one day, you open your front door, you're at home on your own, and there's a baby on your doorstep. And you think, where'd this baby come from? And, okay, no, no, no one around, no one around, but there's this fucking baby on your doorstep. Okay, use it like that. It's not your fault that the baby's there, but it's your responsibility to do something about it. Yes, whatever it is that you do, you can go and knock on next door. You can take the baby in, you can ring the police. You can do, you know, do? You can shut the door on the fucking baby if you want, but it's whatever it is. Wasn't your fault that that baby's there, but it's your responsibility to do something with it now. So a lot of the time you know whether it's whatever we're talking about, divorce, addiction, self sabotage, limiting beliefs, all those things, low self worth, whatever you want to talk. About none of us your fault that is there, forget the fault. Yeah, it's your responsibility to do something about it now, even if that is doing nothing. Yes, it's your responsibility to decide what is the next right move, yeah. And sometimes that can just be, like we said, you know, just rest, rest. Go easy on yourself. Show a bit of compassion. You know, get curious about what it is you're feeling, why you're feeling that way. You know, we can love that a lot of it is, is generational, sometimes as well. I mean, you know, the wounds of ourselves, it's our mums grandmas or great grandmas, you know, the wounds of that, isn't it? So, yeah, completely,

Sarah Elizabeth  15:48

completely the book we've been doing in the divorce book club in June, the confidence feels like shit by Oka Cramer. It's such a good book. And she talks about responsibility a lot in there, and she says, ultimately, the the ability to respond, isn't it? And you can choose that. And you know, she says exactly the same thing. You know, so much shit has happened to her in her life. And then she can sit there and blame everyone for it, or she can go, Well, they did the best that they could with what they had. There was reasons for they doing and what they did as well. So what can I do about it? And it's exactly that, exactly that it's so great that you're teaching your kids that as well. Because I always say that they don't teach you at school. They should teach this at school, but they don't. Yeah,

Katie Bloomfield  16:39

Danny, and I often say, you know, we weren't kind of entered into the world of personal development until our early 30s. And I think it's an ever evolving learn, isn't it? Yes, we constantly learn that we will never know everything. You know, we can always learn something more. We have this phrase as well. You know, every day is a school day, and so I think in order to gift it to our children this early, you know, we've done affirmations with Bobby since he was a since he was a baby. And, I mean, I don't know how the old ones would feel about it, but, like, I I've, like, a high five on my mirror. I don't know

Sarah Elizabeth  17:19

if you've read, yes, yeah. Mel Robbins, in my five habit, yeah, so, like,

Katie Bloomfield  17:23

I have the over handprint written on my mirror in Sharpie, like that, you are beautiful and you are worthy in that handprint. And it's funny, isn't it, you know, because the first time that you do, it can feel quite

Sarah Elizabeth  17:38

icky. It does feel bit like, Yeah,

Katie Bloomfield  17:42

I think it takes balls to look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you are worthy and you are beautiful. And there are two things that I've always struggled with. You know, when I was when I was a child, I was told like at school, you know, the mean girls, you're ugly, you're ugly, you know, and beautiful, but I've never felt beautiful. No, I know, you know. And now I can say that I feel beautiful, you know. And like the worthiness stuff, you know. I mean, divorce does that to you, doesn't it? You know, completely. You know, the little niggles, the the internal dialogue. And so I think in order, like for the kids to see us doing that, yes, yeah. You know, it's quite powerful, really, isn't it? It

Sarah Elizabeth  18:35

really is, yeah. I mean, I said I've had, I mean, I'm 52 now, but spent the first, sort of 4550 years of my life like because I was adopted as a baby. As a child, I told myself this story, that it must have been because I was fat and ugly baby, because every mum loves their baby, right? Let's just what you see on telly. So like as a child, this was the story I created. And obviously, as I got older, especially as I became a social worker and realised that actually she was a month off her 18th birthday. You know, you couldn't be a single mum. Then abortion limit was only 16 weeks. And she was literally 1617, weeks pregnant when she found out. So, you know, there was all sorts of completely logical reasons, but as a child, I've told myself it's because of me, and then what happens is, over the years, I've perpetuated that and gone I'm fat and ugly, I'm unlovable because I'm fat and ugly, I'm not good enough because I'm not good enough to be kept and all of that. And it just and then you start, you know, confirmation bias. You start looking for the evidence to prove that you're right. So when kids at school say, Oh, you're fat or you're ugly, like, Yes, that's right, I'm right, then aren't I? And then you go into relationships, and that's what I said. I've done every single relationship, not one of them, if I look back now, not one of them would I. I ever have chosen, but I went with it because they wanted me, and no one else would want me because I'm unlovable, right? So is that, and when you start to unpick that and do that work, it is completely, completely a different sort of you know you when you learn to love and accept yourself who you are, and I think often divorce is a massive catalyst for doing that, because you do get caught up in it, and you go along this road with with a husband, and then it all goes, tits up. And I always talk about the times, like an earthquake said, like my entire world as I'd built up just went to pieces in a pile of rubble in a matter of seconds, and it was like shit. Now, what? Now? What this pile of rubble on? What? I don't know where to start, and that that's really why I started doing this work. But that's exactly it, right? That kind of that acceptance of yourself and who you are, where you've come from, and taking your responsibility in that I love that that's so good. Kids respond to that today.

Katie Bloomfield  21:09

Yeah, the kids, yeah. Kids get on board with it. I mean, they think, I think they, they maybe wish that we didn't do it quite so much. Sometimes it's hard to argue with us then, isn't it? But, yeah, you know, I think they're gonna have a much better set up than than we ever did. You know, from that sort of time, I just, I mean, completely off what you've just asked me, but just on, on your story. We've Danny and I went back to watch Call the midwife. Have you

Sarah Elizabeth  21:40

ever watched it? Yes, yeah, I don't really watch it, but I've seen we've

Katie Bloomfield  21:43

never watched it, so we were, they're on, like, season 14 or something crazy like that. We went back to season one and started watching it. You know, it's like, it's 45 minutes or something, just a little wind down. We're now on, they're up to, like, 1963 or something like that. And there was a young girl on last night's episode who had had a baby taken off her and she'd gone and got pregnant again, age 17, on purpose, because she wanted to have the baby that lost that baby because of her yeah and yeah. So it's funny that you should mention that, like the the life that you've actually lived the other side of that?

Sarah Elizabeth  22:24

Yes, yeah, yeah, it's that is interesting. There's a book called The baby laundry for unmarried mothers, and that that that's quite insightful. Was to see what, what women and girls went through at that time, going into kind of crazy Nunnery paisleys and, you know, and having their babies just taken away from them. And even my adoption file, I do have the feeling that my birth mother potentially hid the pregnancy until she was 16 weeks. I think she did know, just from the way that the files were done. But, yeah, it's so interesting. But talking about birth mother, because we were talking about that, that you're on one of your social media you posted recently about one of your bug bears about being in a blended family is the way people judge you, and yeah, your real son, yeah.

Katie Bloomfield  23:17

Is that your Is that your real brother? Is that your real sister. Well, they're not fucking made up imaginary. You and I are. I think it's the word real, you know,

Sarah Elizabeth  23:32

the I get it all the time is that your real mum, when I talk about my because my mum and dad died when I was like 28 and 30, they died. And when I ever talked about my mum and dad, they go that your real mum, because you're adopted. She was she, she definitely died. So I don't know there was a body, so I think she was real, yeah, and I think,

Katie Bloomfield  23:57

I think that's just a term around maybe it's a term around language, I don't know, but is we don't focus on step or half in our family. Yes, officially, I'm a step mum. They don't call me mum. They've got a mother, you know and and you know mine, you know the other the older children, they do call Danny dad, because he is their dad, yes, in everything but biology, yes and, and one of our one of our daughters, is she's very keen biologist. And she, she always talks about like people giving blood. We can borrow blood of an absolute stranger. Oh, my God, of course, yes, you can borrow blood off an absolute stranger. So when somebody says that's my flesh and Blood's thicker than water, they are saying that we've grown up with and. You know, it's tough, really, because we, we, we've talked about like love is a commitment that you make by choice. Yes. You know, when you when you get married, you love that person by choice, commitment you make, yes, when you have, when you have a baby, when you adopt a baby, you know, whatever you make that choice, that commitment to love and look after and nurture those now, when Danny and I got married, I made that commitment, and he did equally as well. You know with the children from my previous marriage that we would love and nurture and commit to each other's children, and so that's what we do. And it hasn't always been easy. I'm never going to, you know, I mean that, yes, there's been times when I've laid on the floor and cried and kicked and screamed and been a hot mess, because it's not easy. You've got the outside influences, influences from other parents or from from your own family, because they aren't maybe involved in that commitment to start with. But it's about putting that above all else, you know? And, yeah, it has been very difficult, but we still believe that that is absolutely we don't use the term half brother, half sister. Bobby is, is the four year old he's, he's, like, the only one that's this blood related to everybody in the house. Oh, my God, yes, of course. Yeah, yeah. He's related by blood. But he, I think he would be really upset if someone said that's not your real brother or your you know, because, well, right there, they're real, they're real enough. Yeah. So he's now learning that. He said to one of the boys the other day, who's, who's that? Is that? And is it? Oh, that's my mum. Yeah. Do you have two mums? I wish I had two mums, because then I'd ask if one mum said, No, I'd ask theother logic,

Sarah Elizabeth  27:14

that's amazing. It's true, though, isn't it? Because, like, my brother is not my genetic brother. He's not my blood brother. He's not anything else, but I've been brought up with him brother. He's my brother. And if anyone said that he wasn't my brother, I'm like, you can fuck right off, you know? And it's like, it's bizarre, because at one point, his wife was talking about potentially looking for his birth family just to find out. Because you you do, there's curiosity about the medical side and anything kind of like that, because our mum died of emergency. So there's always that kind of thing about genetic things. But, and I was like, I it really triggered me, because I was like, Well, what if he's got a sister, but, like, I'm his sister. I like, what if it like, it really triggered me. So I was like, Well, I'm his sister. Like, he can't, he can't have another sister, because I'm his sister. Like, you know, you know, it was really, um, triggering. And I think when it's that ownership, isn't it like, which makes it probably wrong word, because I think commitment, like, your word is, is the perfect word. It is committing to being a family.

Katie Bloomfield  28:24

Yeah, significance as well. I think because, you know, as corny as it sounds, you know, love is infinite. We can, we can make more of it as much as we want to. Can't wait, you know, but, but when, when that's something that we've attached to that identity, attack it. It affects literally everything that we do. You know how we think, feel, behave, you know it will attach to it. So for for you know, perhaps yourself. You know another person potentially being your brother, sisters, like, hang on a minute, not coming in to take my but it doesn't make you any less significant. I know. I know, I know. And so I was born into a blended family myself, right? So my mum and dad had both been married previously. Yes, my mum had one child from her previous marriage, and my dad had six.

Sarah Elizabeth  29:17

Wow. Okay, number six. So

Katie Bloomfield  29:23

they had seven when they first met, yeah, and when they met, when they when they met, when they got married. They had three more, and I'm the middle one of those three. Now, relationships with the in the family growing up like so I'm 42 my oldest brother or sister, I think is 65 at Wow, so there's like a 20 plus? Yes, I've got nieces and nephews at the same age as me, um, etc. Now again, I've never used the term half brother or sister, because I am the I'm the the. Baby slated to everybody by blood, yes, but still gets called. Your dad's six,

Sarah Elizabeth  30:07

still, even now, even

Katie Bloomfield  30:10

now, yeah, even now. Your dad's six, you know? Well, okay, yeah, and that's you know, that can play on your identity. And is funny, really, because only when you start to dig down in it, like, is that why I want to feel significant in certain places, because of that, or why I behave in that way, right? You know, because I've always been there. You know, in your family, you're told, You're told who You are, aren't you just Kate's the loud one. Okay, am I? Well, you play up to it, you play up to it, don't you? You know. So I have

Sarah Elizabeth  30:53

been the loud one, loud one because you told you were the loud one.

Katie Bloomfield  30:57

Funny though, because I used to hypertime My mum's skirt because I was so shy. So when you mix the two together, interesting, was like this one, or was I this one because kind of doing, but I'm playing up to or down to the identity that I was given? Yes, so I usually like with, like our children. Now, there's never a you are statement, I don't listen to anything that is you are. Whatever comes after that is just your opinion. I don't have to listen to it. So a lot of the time, like say, Bobby, for instance, he's four, right? He can hide behind us sometimes, because he's four. That's what four year olds do, yeah, oh, he's shy. No, it's not. No, he's not. He's just feeling a bit shy right now. And I'm quite, I'm quite a stickler for it, because emotions can change very quickly, whereas when you attach that identity to it, that's just like you're being told who you are right now. Yeah, it's part of your identity, and it's not, yeah, so, yeah, it's so interesting, isn't it takes a while to learn it. But yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when you mix that with, like, you know, the the business stuff, you know, I mean, I work with, we work with a lot of tradies and a lot of, you know, because we're in property, yeah, so you can just see the differences that is ginormous.

Sarah Elizabeth  32:25

It's huge, huge, huge, huge subject, isn't it? Yeah, ridiculous, yeah. What advice would you give anyone that is going into a blended family after divorce? What's your number one bit of advice that you'd give them? My

Katie Bloomfield  32:39

number one piece of advice to anybody would be to get curious on who you are and how you behave. Because one thing Danny and I did when we first met was say that like we work on our marriage together, but we also work on ourselves separately, and when you find out who, who, not just who, maybe who you are, but sometimes it can be a bit uncomfortable. Well, you know, like when you're actually faced with a mirror and you look in it, and, you know, like the the old me, who used to shout and scream and throw plates and whatever else, it can be uncomfortable, but if you get curious about why and and then you can learn different techniques of changing that, especially if you've got a string of shitty relationships or first dates, or you use the term fuck boy, didn't you? If you've got a string of

Sarah Elizabeth  33:46

those, remember the pattern?

Katie Bloomfield  33:49

It is a pattern, isn't it? Yeah,

Sarah Elizabeth  33:52

yeah, absolutely. I love that. Well, I mean, I could talk to you all day, but I'm conscious you've got to go off to nursery as well, and do pick up. So I've got one last question for you, and then I'm going to get you and Danny back on as well in few weeks as well, which is lovely. So obviously I run the divorce book club, and we believe that personal development isn't fixing it's just about remembering who the fuck you are in the first place and not who you were told to be. So tell me what book wrecked you in the best possible way?

Katie Bloomfield  34:23

And I know that you're going to love this, because you know, you already know my answer. I know the book that absolutely changed it for me was a book that I was gifted by my first mentor ever, and it's you're a badass by Jen Sincero. And the book is dogged and scribbled on and annotated like beyond belief, but that was the very first one that done this, that done it for me. If you haven't read it and you're listening, go and buy it. It will be the best thing that you do, even if it just gives you a slight. Shift of an, actually, okay, I can do this. It's an amazing book. It is. It's great. That was, that was the book, The turning point for me.

Sarah Elizabeth  35:08

Yeah, it's such a it's such a good book, because it goes into all of it, doesn't it, and it is really, like, you are a badass and but she's also got the money one and the habits one as well, isn't she? So like, I think she's just, she's fantastic because she she just puts it across in such a way that makes complete sense. And if you've never heard it before, you kind of go, Oh my fuck

Katie Bloomfield  35:30

yeah, absolutely that. Yeah, I love that. So

Sarah Elizabeth  35:34

we are going to get you and Danny back on in a few weeks together, which I can't wait for. That's very exciting. But in the meantime, if listeners want to get hold of you, find you anywhere. Follow you anywhere. Find out about your property business, your coaching business, your business style, all of it, all the things, where can they find you?

Katie Bloomfield  35:52

Find me on Facebook. That's where I tend to hang out. We do have an Instagram page, a joint Instagram page, but I prefer to hang out on Facebook. Yeah, Katie Bloomfield or at is at Danny and Katie Bloomfield on Instagram, I will, if I may, offer anyone who's listening a copy of our wealthy life playbook, or your the playbook. Yes, totally free. We never charge for it, and it has helped hundreds of people, because a wealthy life is far more than just financial and it talks about the five pillars in in there. So I'll give you the link, if that's okay, yeah,

Sarah Elizabeth  36:27

absolutely. I'll put that all in the show notes. That's amazing. Thank you. It's been such a lovely conversation. Thank you so much for coming on, Katie, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I'll be back in everyone's beautiful earbuds again next week, let's laugh. Bye.